Critical anonymous commenters

I could say that anonymous comments are cowardly, but then I have wanted to make some myself. However it would be nice to know who the person is so I could see their blog and try to see where they are coming from. The first response to a critical post is to feel angry and defensive. Especially with an anonymous comment, the temptation is to dismiss the commenter as some jerk not worth thinking about.

Here is what someone said to me about my last post:

One reason your house lost value is because other irresponsible people stopped making their payments. And you would do the same to others? Ironic.

And this deliberation comes right after complaining about your sister spending money on her wedding. Forgive me, but you sound very hypocritical and self-righteous; her error is minor at best and foreclosing on your house would destructive to many, many others.

Instead of dismissing this comment I decided to think about it and if any of the criticism was on target. Am I hypocritical and self-righteous? Sometimes I am, and the person who denies ever being a hypocrite is 99.9% likely a liar. Sometimes my actions and my desires clash with my principles and ideals. Sometimes I talk about eating healthy and have doughnuts for dinner. Sometimes I talk about the environmental benefits of public transportation from behind the wheel of my car. Part of the journey of life and tracking it in a blog is to be more aware. Life is a learning process and if I already had everything perfect and made post after post charting my perfection it would annoying, kind of like the female protagonist in a romance novel.

Has any frustrated mother fantasized, even for a moment, about walking away from her children? Has anyone in a relationship been tempted to split with his/her partner when things were rough? Ever wanted to just walk away and start over in month five of a home remodel? Of course! It's natural to contemplate what it would be like if your problems just went away. I am in a rough patch with my house now and I do fantasize about mailing in the keys. Will I do it? Not likely.

As for irresponsible people making the values of their neighbors homes drop, that seems bad to people like me who are left behind but not to others . For investors and other buyers just coming into the market this is a time of opportunity. Economists, pundits and the like who complained about the "insanity" of the market at its peak are of the opinion that this "reset" was necessary and ultimately good. For some of you out there those irresponsible people did you a favor.

Keeping to the contract I signed if I am able is expected of me by society, part of the ethical behavior expected of an individual. Of course, if I was a giant corporation and bailed out of a contract because it became unprofitable then it would be "just business". I think some of my frustration comes from the different ethical standards applied to individuals vs business, especially with all the current hardships being endured by responsible individuals when irresponsible corporations and local governments are getting federal bailouts.

As for my sister's wedding, now that the shock has worn off I am fine with the idea of her spending all that money on her wedding. It's her money and her judgement call to make; I would choose differently. I will reserve future complaints for expenses I incur personally. I also reserve the right to comment on following along with some of the more ridiculous expectations of society such as dream weddings.

Loan modification denied; now what?

Today I received a letter from my bank denying my request for a loan modification. The reason given:

"This request would be outside of your investor guidelines."

When I called to ask who actually owns my loan, who is this investor with guidelines I didn't meet, they couldn't tell me but gave me an address to write to and inquire. I was also connected to the Loss Mitigation department, and they said they could look at my information to see if there was anything they can do. I have to resubmit the exact same information that I already sent to the loan modification people.

I am a good risk, I guess. Although my house is deeply underwater ($150,000 or so) I am making the payments, including extra principal payments, and I have steady income and no other debt (40% of my gross income for shelter is all the debt I can handle!). Maybe they figure that they shouldn't lower my rate since I'll keep making payments at the current rate. The conversion date of my mortgage from interest only to principal and interest is too far away for their short term thinking.

What do I do? Wait for my home value to stop sinking and return to its original value plus the 6% realtor's fee (don't forget, you don't break even on selling a house if you don't sell it for it's purchase price plus realtor fees)? Do I send my mortgage servicer jingle mail? I'm not sure what I want to do. I need to learn more about the system so I can figure out how to work it. Mortgage companies are in business to take care of themselves, not me, and I need to figure out how to get them to believe that taking care of me is taking care of themselves.

In the meantime, I am planning to send the requested information to Loss Mitigation. When I make phone calls to the bank, I write down the date of every contact and what the call covered. I stopped the automatic payments for my mortgage. This means I will have to remember to make the payments every month but I think I can handle that. I also decided to stop making extra principal payments for now. I'll set the money aside so I can continue if I change my mind. I'm glad I decided to hold on to my income tax refund instead of using it to pay principal!

Glacial progress on my loan modification

I mailed the loan modification application in late May, in late June I received a notice saying my application was received. Today I called to find out the status. According to the bank, they received the appraisal on my home last Friday and that was the last piece of information they needed to work on my application. I should be hearing from them in one to three months. When I asked why such a long time, the operator said that they have applications from December that they are still working on and that one to three months is pretty fast. Frustrating!!

My plan is to call again in another two or three weeks.

I am starting to fantasize again about just walking away from this mortgage, especially if I can't get a modification. Mr. K-M's name isn't on the loan so we could buy a place in his name instead. At current prices he'd qualify for a loan on his lower salary. I doubt I'd actually do that, most likely I am just expressing my frustration with my current situation.

Once I binged, now I purge

Several years ago I had a shopping problem which led to the accumulation of a large debt and a large pile of stuff. The debt is long gone but I still have a lot of the stuff. Unfortunately (although at the time I thought it was fortunate) when I was shopping I lived overseas where there was lots of great stuff for dirt cheap. The money I spent got me a much larger pile of stuff than a similar amount of money would have purchased in the States.

Every so often I comb through the stuff and find more to toss. This time was especially productive and I filled my car for Goodwill. It is hard to think of all the use I could get out of that stuff but more important is the truth that I have too much to ever use and it doesn't offset the burden of having all that stuff lying around. Yes, I could have sold a lot of it because it was nice stuff in new condition, but it would have taken so much energy to do that, energy better used to move me forward.

I feel so much better, I have less clutter, and I can better organize what I want to keep because I can actually find it. Hurrah!

Loan modification

I received a letter from my lender that my application for loan modification was received and is in the process of being reviewed. I am annoyed, because I know that I am a good credit risk (sheesh, I'm a better risk than most people I know. dammit!). If I wasn't underwater on my mortgage I wouldn't have any trouble with a refi, instead I have to do this humiliating loan modification thing. However, if a little humiliation saves me a couple hundred a month in interest, I'm willing to do it.

Just a reminder...

When was the last time you checked your credit report? You can get a free report every 12 months from each of the big three companies. Go to www.annualcreditreport.com to get your report. If you get one report at a time you can check your report three times a year for free.

Checking your credit report is one of those things everyone should do periodically, like checking the air in their tires (you check the air in your tires, right?).

Contemplating a Fixed Income

I am on vacation this week (but staying home and relaxing) so my paycheck will be just for straight hours. Usually my paychecks are bolstered by shift differential and taking call and such so there is some flexibility in how much I make. I was thinking about what life would be like if my income was fixed, as it will be when I retire. It was a scary thought. The result of this contemplation is that I feel more committed to making sure I have a really good retirement savings.

Blowing the budget

I am totally blowing my budget this month, and I came at the damage from both directions.

On the income side, I decreased my income by not taking any call in the last pay period - an accidental oversight. I wasn't going to have any this pay period either, luckily someone was willing to give a shift away. Next, I went home several hours early one day when things were slow and elected to take the time off without pay because I have a vacation coming up and didn't want to burn any extra PTO.

On the expenditure side, I neglected to realize that because the bank changed one of my accounts due to a data compromise, that my cell phone bill stopped getting paid automatically. I don't open those statements in a timely manner since they are automatic and I ended up having to pay for three months at once. Then I signed up for a class in cartoneria (Mexican paper mache) which I wasn't planning on because I didn't know it existed. This year's Halloween theme (we go all out with Halloween decorating) is Dia De Los Muertos and I was going to try to figure out how to do the paper mache on my own but now I don't have to and this is (for me) a justified expense that I am willing to pay for (and if you knew how excited I get about Halloween you would agree).

Ultimately, there has to be some flexibility in any budget for inevitable ups and downs. I keep some slush money for budget overruns and fortunately have the ability to increase my income by picking up extra call shifts on occasion. I have a system and I know it works for me. If I couldn't make extra money I'd have to come up with a different system.

This has also been a lesson in diligence. I shouldn't be waiting over three months to check on bill payment.

Underwater loan modification

Today I sent in my application for a loan modification. My lender has a program in place for screening applicants to see if they qualify for any government loan modification programs (I don't - my loan is too far underwater, among other things). Then they see if the applicant qualifies for their in-house programs (they wouldn't talk to me about what I need to qualify for those until they screened me for the gov't programs). Current backlog is about three weeks so if I haven't heard anything in four weeks I'll start being a pest.

All I really want is a lower interest rate that I could get if my home hadn't lost so much value. It's frustrating that I can't refi when interest rates are so good.

Current interest rates would save me at least the $300 a month extra I need to pay my second mortgage off in 8 years or less.

We'll see what happens...

Anyone else trying to get a loan modification?

Cost of housing, then and now. Also loan modification and the underwater loan

Housing costs where I live are very high, and I think this example illustrates it pretty well:

The parents of a friend live a couple blocks from me and paid $18,000 for their house in the 60s. At the time it was twice her dad’s annual salary. In the late 70s my parents bought their house in an equivalent neighborhood in the same city for four times my dad’s annual salary. Two years ago I bought my house (which is a lot smaller than my parent’s house and somewhat smaller that my friend’s childhood home) for almost six times my annual salary. My friend’s dad, my dad and I are all in the same salary bracket for our times so it is a good comparison.

What would it be like to have a house that only cost twice my annual salary? Or even four times?! OMG I would think I was rich! The entire mortgage would probably be paid off in ten years! Wishful thinking....

In a related story, I recently called my bank to ask about loan modification. They are going to send me paperwork to fill out and return (along with my last tax return and proof of current income) to see if I qualify for government programs for loan modification. If I don't they will then see if I qualify for their in-house program. I already know I don't qualify for government programs based on what I have read about them (too far underwater, loan too big, income too high) but the bank is going to make me go that route anyway. I don't know if I'll be successful but I figure "nothing ventured, nothing gained".

Being underwater makes me unable to do a traditional refi, otherwise I would and take advantage of today's better rates. Even half a point off my current 6.25% would save me a bundle. It irks me to no end that I am otherwise a great risk for the bank and all I would do with the money I save would be to pay more towards the principal of my second mortgage so they'd be getting the money anyway. In order to do a refi I need 20% equity and in order to get 20% equity in my home based on its current (Zillow) value I would need $245,000. If I had that much money I would pay off my second and 20% of my first and I wouldn't need a refi or modification!!!!!

Eating at home, Part II

After spending a pile of money on groceries last week and worrying that eating in wasn't going to save that much money, it was a welcome realization that the food I bought last week will last me all of this week as well. I forgot to take into account that I bought a lot of staples and stocked up on frozen fruit chunks (for my now almost daily breakfast smoothie). All I bought this week was milk, cornbread mix and some fresh shrimp. Some of what I bought will last me through next week, too, so I will only have to make a smallish purchase this weekend.

Another side benefit to better eating habits has been more energy. All that junk was really dulling my senses.

Experiments in eating at home

I started cooking at home this week. Maybe you don't think that's a big deal, but in the two years I have lived in my house I have cooked maybe three or four family meals that weren't for a holiday. Everything else was snack food or eating out, with the occasional partial dinner for one. This is going to get expensive if I keep cooking for everyone. At the moment eating in is costing almost as much as eating out for just me would cost. I think that once I get the hang of it eating in will be cheaper and after our guest leaves I'll go back to making food for just me - Mr. K isn't too excited about my cooking since I don't like tomatoes or cheese.

I'm going to have to pay more attention to all the posts out there about cooking at home and budgeting for food now that I'm eating at home. It is a very weird experience. I'm also running the dishwasher more often, twice in a week now instead of once every ten days; I am also washing more kitchen towels and napkins (we use cloth napkins). Also if I keep this up the lack of counter space in my kitchen may drive me to a remodel sooner than expected. Given all that, maybe it would be cheaper to eat out all the time.

Unexpected windfall

Sometimes I feel great about my financial skills. Other times, I am embarrassed. A while back I posted about how I stopped my whole life insurance policy. I don't really need all that insurance and it freed up an extra $90 a month in my budget. What is embarrassing to me is that I had that policy and never really understood that much about it. I was young and foolish when I signed up for it over a decade ago but that shouldn't still be an excuse. If I had understood it I would have expected what came in the mail.

What did I get in the mail? A check for the cash value of the policy when I ended it. It's just over $5000. In the post before this I was whining about going over budget and this money will not help me there. I do not put unexpected windfalls towards bills I racked up by shopping too much. Nope, this money is going straight to the bank to sit there until I decide what to do with it. Principal on my mortgage? Home improvement? Expanding my EF fund to five months of income instead of four? I don't know, yet.

Budget off the rails

This month I have a credit card balance that I cannot pay with my paycheck. My car needs its 30,000 mile servicing and I am going to have to charge it, adding to the balance. The charges on my card were a convergence of my decision to spend a couple hundred on new clothes (so that no one would mistake me for a bum) and some rare expenses, such as new toner for my laser printer (hasn't needed any for 2 1/2 years) and signing up for a class I take three times a year, among other things. I will be able to pay my current balance with my next paycheck provided I stop spending.

This whole situation points out to me how close to the margin I really live. I give myself a discretionary spending allowance which generally meets my needs so I don't usually feel like money is tight, but it is. Every dollar I make is already earmarked for bills or savings and only a teeny bit left over for extra expenses. Of course, in a real emergency spending situation I have plenty of resources - my emergency fund, the money I keep in stocks, the money I pay towards my loan principal each month. But that money is for emergencies, not new clothes or a lawn chair. I miss the days before I owned a home when I could go off the rails with my budget and it was no problem because I was bringing in way more than I needed to live on.

This is not the end of the world; I'll rein in my spending, go back to my usual thrifty ways, pick up an extra call shift, and everything will be fine. Then I'll be back in my pretend world where I have plenty of money for everything I need because I don't need much. I just have to remember that all this tightness now will pay big dividends when my second mortgage is paid off, then first mortgage is paid off, then retire early or only work part time by my late 50s. And I do have a wonderful (already saved up the money so no worries) vacation coming up in a few weeks.

Customer service vs the cheapest price

Wal Mart, Home Depot and big box stores of that ilk tend to have the lowest prices for some of the things I buy, but what about quality of life? By the time I have spent 30 minutes roaming the aisles of Home Depot looking for someone who can help me find a particular gizmo I want to scream. Then I go to the register and find that I have to pay at one of those damned self-pay stations where the computer talks to me like I ride the short bus and is always complaining about items placed in the baggage area. Good thing I don't carry around a machine gun in my purse, because by the time I leave Big Box Hell I am always wishing for one and that would only lead to trouble.

I'd much rather pay a bit more at Orchard Supply Hardware, a smaller chain local to my area. The stores are smaller and the prices are higher but friendly and helpful salespeople roam the aisles asking people if they need help finding anything. I never have to spend forever looking unless I want to. It is nice to interact with actual human beings and every time someone asks if I need help I feel better about the human race in general. I spend the extra money gladly because my quality of life is so much better when I shop there.

Just a reminder that the lowest price is not the be-all, end-all of everything even in a frugal life.

Not going to make it at this rate

Yesterday I wrote about the joy of reducing the power of compounding interest by making extra payments. While what I am doing is great, it is unfortunately not enough to meet my goals.

My goal is to have my second mortgage paid off before I have to start paying principal on my first mortgage. That starts in 2017, a long way off but all too short a time to get $125,000 paid off for my second mortgage. I'd also love to have a year or two of breathing room without any second mortgage payments before starting principal payments on my first.

I like to play around at Bankrate.com and use their mortgage calculators to figure out how long it will take me to pay off the mortgage if I pay more in monthly principal payments or if I make a one time payment. It is fun to see how much time I am taking off my loan repayment schedule by paying extra, but also scary because it makes me realize I am not paying fast enough.

In order to meet my intermediate goal of paying off my second mortgage in six or seven years I really need to do more than pay off the $10,000 in principal I set as my goal for this year. I still have $11,000 of my tax refund left, and I am thinking about what to do with it. In order to meet my goal I not only have to put the tax refund towards the mortgage, I also have to increase my principal payments to about $800 a month. Yikes. I just increased from $300 to $500 a month last fall, and increased my monthly car savings from $100 to $200 a month. Where will I find another $300 a month?!

Paying down principal pays off

Today I made the monthly extra principal payment on my second mortgage and while I was online I looked at my account.

I paid $10,400 in interest last year. I paid $3310 so far in interest this year. Yes, that is a lot of money in interest. But consider that even if I did not pay another dollar in principal this year I will still pay about $500 less in interest this year because I paid down some of the principal. Since my monthly payment is about $1000 that means my loan will be paid an extra half month early even if I do nothing else.

I am taking away the power of compounding interest! Hooray for extra payments!

Progress on my 2009 Mortgage Paydown Challenge

As you can see in the box on the right I am making steady progress towards my goal of paying down $10,000 in principal on my second mortgage. The $164.75 listed for April is the amount of my regular payment that went to principal. This is pretty exciting because almost two years ago when I first bought the house my payments only paid off $80-90 in principal. It's almost doubled!

Original loan, May 2007: $138,000.

Amount paid off as of today: $12,780.69. Of the $12K, $7344 was in the last 12 months.

Current balance: $125,219.31.

Find a way to do what you love

This post is not about personal finance or frugality per se, but I believe it is relevant because the benefits of sound personal finance and being frugal are related to living a joyful life and not a life tied only to money or material things.

Is there something you enjoy doing and have a passion for? What are you doing to follow your passion? Years ago I was really interested in crafts but never really did anything with them. After a family tragedy I took stock of my life and thought about all the things I wanted to do and wished I had done. I decided that I did not want to get to the end of my life and regret that I had not used my time well. Here's what happened:

I started doing crafts again. I found several crafts I really liked and eventually narrowed my focus to a few things on which I could focus my energy. Then I discovered the internet, including craft websites and blogs. I was inspired to develop a comprehensive body of work worthy of a website. I developed a narrow field of focus and put my efforts into doing just a few things but doing them well. I searched for people with similar interests and contacted them. Like minded individuals (not a lot, but more than I expected) from countries all over the world discovered my work and appreciated it. When I couldn't find needlework patterns I liked I started designing my own. I found an opportunity to teach a class in my specialty (not for money, but it will be practice and exposure) in a few weeks and having that deadline is forcing me to get my patterns fully developed and ready for publication as handouts. I am also making kits so beginners can make my patterns and end up with a useful item. One of the contacts I made is the editor of an obscure online needlework journal and as she is going to feature the type of work I do in an issue she is going to feature my work in the issue. The proprietor of my local needlework store also admires my work and has offered herself as a resource if and when I decide to publish patterns professionally. I am now at the point where I can see potential income from my hobby. Probably not much, especially because my field of interest is pretty obscure and limited. But I'll enjoy doing what I do regardless of wether I make money or not so that's OK. All of this has taken uncounted hundreds of hours of work on my part. But because I enjoy what I do so much it doesn't seem like work at all. Even the small recognition I have received so far is deeply fulfilling and only serves to motivate me to do more, and better. I don't know where this is going but I am enjoying the process and the journey, and I now understand how those who succeed are driven by passion for what they do rather than having making money as an end goal.

Lessons I've learned so far:

1) It is easy to work hard at something you love.
2) It is important to be good in a field where you want to succeed.
3) It is really important to communicate in order to get noticed. Put yourself out there!
4) Contact people who share your interests. People who enjoy what they do also enjoy talking about what they do and can be really helpful not to mention good sources of information.
5) It is really amazing how one thing will naturally lead to another. Each little step is the building block to reach the next step.
6) Success is a lot of little steps, not one giant leap.
7) Success is as much about the journey as reaching the goal.

California refund and shopping

After stating it would hand out IOUs to taxpayers due refunds, the state of California is finally paying out the money it owes. I received my tax refund last week after filing at the end of January. It was about time!

I already adjusted my withholding so that hopefully I will be due little if any refund next year. I used to like getting a Federal refund because I always used the money for something constructive like paying down loans but I believe I am now financially disciplined enough to put that money mind game away and put my money to good use as soon as I earn it.

Speaking of putting money to good use, I actually went out and spent some money. My wardrobe was looking pretty raggedy; not a single outfit fit for being seen in except by supermarket clerks and people who already know and love me! $150 at Old Navy bought me enough clothing to make several nice outfits. I bought the clothes in colors which match accessories I already own so I didn't have to buy any accessories. Two good things came out of this experience besides refreshing my wardrobe and having clothes I am not embarrassed to be seen in: 1) Spending the money was stress free because I have a savings fund for clothing and 2) I was reassured that I have not become such a tightwad that even sensible, planned, justified spending feels wrong. The whole point of being careful with money is to enhance my quality of life, not just to have more and more money. I don't want to end up one of those wacko bag ladies who live like beggars but have millions in the bank when they die.

My frugality goal is to be logical, not pathological.

The title of this post seems to imply that I spent my tax refund on shopping. Not so. The refund is a few thousand (my first full year with mortgage deduction plus changing jobs plus fear of not withholding enough = way overestimating my withholding) and I'm not sure what to do with it. Pay down mortgage? Home improvement? Savings? For now it is going to be parked in a savings account. I'll decide what to do with it later.

Discovering the second "R" in Reuse, Reduce & Recycle

During the time of my moratorium of fast food I found myself spending less money in general. In addition to the obvious benefit of saving money I noticed another benefit when trash day rolled around: saving the environment. When I went to empty all the trash cans I discovered that there was not enough trash in the house to fill the under-the-sink kitchen trash can. I emptied more garbage out of my cat litter box over the week than I did in the house. My recycling can held the week's newspapers and junk mail, a few empty bottles/cans, and little else. I was amazed at how little trash my household produced.

It felt like a revelation to me but it really should have been obvious. When you buy less there is less packaging to throw away. Especially with fast food, it really is amazing how much packaging it takes to contain such a relatively small amount of food. Some of the packaging is recyclable but a lot has to be trashed. I've always felt good about trying to recycle as much as possible but it would be better if I didn't have anything to recycle in the first place.

First Harvests

In addition to the winter arugula we planted, and the lemons and oranges, these flowers are the first harvests of the new year. We planted bulb flowers so we have freesia in addition to the lilies. The blossoms are from the branches of the peach tree which were hanging into my neighbor's yard. The lavender we cut back after a bad January frost is starting to bloom as well.

It is nice to see prior planning pay off so early in the season. I am looking forward to a nice harvest this year!

How far would you go to cut back?

I was reading this article on MSN about a woman trying to survive on $32,000/year and how the first crisis for the poor was the gas prices of last summer, not the stock price and housing collapse of now. This woman went from being able to put away $40 per month to draining her savings to pay for expensive gas. I was sympathetic with the woman until the point in the article where it said that this woman, poor woman, had to switch to Kool-Aid packets instead of soda for her kids to drink. What!? To me, this right here is symbolic of something wrong in America. We regard luxuries as necessities and cry "poor me" when forced to curtail any luxury.

If it came right down to it, where money was that tight, what would you plan to change in your life to decrease your expenses? To, in the words to one of my favorite songs (by Bad Religion, from their "How could Hell be any worse" album with a picture of downtown L.A. on the cover) "dig real deep, and give until it hurts"?

Here's what I would do:

No more cable, because TV is not necessary. If I want the internet I can go to the library or go to work early and do my surfing before my shift starts. No more eating out, period. Purchase staples such as rice and oatmeal in bulk, cook a big batch at the beginning of the weak, and eat it all week long. Cut down on eating meat to three days a week or so. Utilize more of the produce that grows in my yard: almonds, oranges, lemons, peaches, plus my vegetable beds. Cancel the house phone, switch the cell (have to have a cell for work) to pay as you go and use it minimally. Use the free bus pass offered by my work even though taking the bus makes my commute three times as long. I could also earn more by taking a second job and only giving myself one day off a week. Life would be less pleasant if I did this but I could shave about $500+ from my budget, or more, and increase my income by $1000/month or more with the extra job. I call that painful but it would still leave me with my own roof over my head, a full belly, and still making contributions to my retirement plan as well as making additional principal payments on my mortgage. If I stopped contributing to my 403(b) and stopped making principal payments I could save another $1400 per month. Overall, if I was super hurting for cash in the short term (and still had my job) I could find an extra $1900+ in my budget with the possibility of more if I work another job.

Until I really looked at it I had no idea there was so much wiggle room in my budget. How much room is in your budget?

Change I can believe in

I seem to be on a stream of consciousness kick this week...

I only made the first ten minutes into Alexandra Pelosi's "Right America" documentary following the McCain Campaign (it was after midnight and I was too sleepy) but I wanted to laugh out loud at all the quotes from people talking about how the number one issue in America is abortion, or gays. The campaign was just last summer; just a few short months later, would people be saying that now? I don't think so. I think the #1 issue in America is the economy. It was laughable, in a sad way. Now that I think about it, how many women will have abortions who otherwise would not have because they are fearful to raise a child in this economic climate? I would argue that people are more likely to welcome children when times are better.

But I digress...

All this rescue package stuff makes me feel so frustrated and sad. I wanted Obama to make rousing speeches about Americans taking responsibility for the mess we are all in, and telling us to own our responsibility and pay the bills that are due. I was hoping for an encouragement to dig deep and find our ingenuity to develop new businesses to replace all those that failed (thinking, as an example, of the new Tesla car company versus the failing Detroit companies). From the ashes of our mistakes we could rise like the phoenix, new and glorious and strong. Cleansed in the fire of all that was dead and dragging the economy down we rise with the energy of our own internal fire. No such luck. Just like I have seen in many a Code Blue at the hospital, we keep on resuscitating past all reasonable hope of bringing the dead and dying back to life because we cannot let go. In the end, the dead are dead but it cost a lot more money than it needed to.

Mr. Tough Money Love recently wrote a post about financial discipline being the key to success and how seeing the mistakes of others, particularly "experts", can lead us to be a little too forgiving of our own mistakes. Yes, it is good to forgive yourself when you make a mistake but I agree that too much forgiveness can be a bad thing.

#1 Self: "Put down the cookie. Cookie is bad for you, make you fat."

#2 Self: *whine* "But I want cookie, it is soooo yummy."

#1 Self: "Put down the cookie."

#2 Self: "But I want cookie."

#1 Self: "No! you can't have a cookie."

#2 Self: "I think I am hungry. Yes! I am hungry! I need cookie! *CHOMP* Not my fault!"

#1 Self: "Dangit! I told you not to eat that cookie!"

#2 Self: *licking crumbs off fingers* (inside voice: mmmm.. good cookie...) "I'm sorry I ate the cookie. Please forgive me?"

#1 Self: "OK, I forgive you, but don't do it again, alright?"

#2 Self: "Yes, I promise. No more cookies."

#2 Self: "There are more cookies. They look so yummy. I think I am still hungry. I want cookie."

#1 Self: "No more cookies!"

#2 Self: "Just one more..." *munch munch* "...sorry..." *munch munch* "...sorry"

{NEXT TIME STEPPING ON THE SCALE}

Self #1 "What?! Up five pounds! It was those dang cookies!"

Self #2 "Why did you let me eat those cookies! You knew they were bad. They were so not worth it. I hate you."

Self #1: "Why wasn't I more disciplined? Then this never would have happened. I am SO angry with myself."

Self #2: "It's OK, I forgive you, let's be better from now on."

Self #1: "Yes, let's be better. But first let's have a doughnut, I need some cheering up."

Now just substitute words like subprime mortgage, new _________ (unneeded item purchased with credit), et cetera for cookie; and words like bailout, rescue, and stimulus for doughnut. You now have an illustration of how we all got into trouble with our money and (for a huge percentage of Americans) with our waistlines.

In order to change our bad habits, financial or otherwise, we really need to be a little stricter with ourselves, and not so easy with the forgiveness. A period of good effort and progress followed by a tiny slip-up immediately followed by getting back on track and demonstrating remorse and a willingness to change; forgiveness granted. A series of constant slip-ups followed by insincere apologies and no demonstration of change; no forgiveness. (Hello, Bank of America...AIG...Citicorp...)

Suck it up and drive on

Straight from my stream of consciousness:

The Central Valley region of California was converted to agriculture decades ago with the aid of irrigation. This water supply is allocated by the government and is necessary to grow crops in land that would otherwise not receive enough water to grow anything. Farmers established farms and orchards in this area based on the assurance that water would always be supplied to them, and supplied for less than the cost of providing it. Now California is a few years into a drought with water supplies at their lowest in a long time and the government decided to turn off the supply. Hundreds of thousands of acres of farmland will lie fallow this year due to lack of water. These farms will not being hiring workers, documented or otherwise, resulting in loss of jobs not only for them but also in the towns where these workers once shopped, lived, and used services. Some small towns may cease to exist.

The government did not make this decision out of malice or caprice. Agriculture is a big part of California's economy and the jobs and tax revenue it generates is important to the state. There just isn't enough water to sustain this artificial agriculture. Perhaps the wisdom of turning all that arid land into farmland seems questionable now; nothing was done to make the area self-supporting. Protecting the environment wasn't something people gave much thought to then, nor did anybody predict how huge the population would become. Now the music has stopped and the farmers of Central California are left without a chair. The shortsighted planners who created this fiasco are dead and gone, while we are left to pay the price for their lack of foresight and poor plan to create an unsustainable way of life.

What does this mean for me? It means I should not be surprised if the price of produce continues to go up. I will also probably appreciate my home grown produce more this year. It also makes me feel a lot better about my situation. I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately. I have been feeling bad because things could be better and aren't, when really things could be much worse and aren't.

I have been angry lately at the forces which seem to have conspired against me in the housing market. I bought into the American Dream of home ownership. I wanted to buy a home in the city where I grew up and where all my family still lives, even though it is now one of the most expensive housing markets in the nation. I knew when I bought that prices were likely to go down and I was ready to weather a bit of a drop. The prediction was that prices would drop but recover in a few years; not too bad, right? Boy was I a deluded fool!

My lack of understanding led me to be surprised by the way the housing fiasco has reverberated throughout the entire economy of not just this country, but much of the world as well. In hindsight it makes complete sense, but then hindsight generally does, doesn't it? The value of my home has dropped by 25% and the decrease has only been accelerating the last few months. Where will it hit bottom?

Now there are plans for a "rescue" but based on what I have heard so far I do not qualify. My mortgage is too far underwater and too big to qualify for the programs that have been announced so far. I won't even receive the "Making Work Pay" tax break because my income is too high, an income that in this area only makes me part of the low to mid middle class. This has all been a bitter, bitter pill to swallow. Like the California farmers, the music stopped and I have no chair.

After feeling really bad for about a week, I am finally starting to come to my senses. Yes, it really sucks that I am in this situation. No amount of anger or recrimination can change it. Ultimately I am responsible for my own decisions and I have to find a way to live with them. My payments are ridiculous huge but at least I can make them. At least I have a solid job. In some ways all this rescue stuff from the government is only making things worse because now people identify themselves as needing rescue. A person who needs rescue is a victim and the word that goes with victim is helpless. I do not want to be a victim, I do not want to be passive and sit here waiting for help. My situation is not bad enough for that. If one of these rescue plans enable me to get a lower interest rate, that would be awesome and I will gladly take the savings and apply it to my loan principal. If not then I will keep doing what I am doing, plugging away at paying down the principal on my mortgage. Someday the value of my home will stop dropping and start going up again. Then someday, as my value goes up and my balance goes down, the two numbers will meet in the middle briefly before heading in opposite directions.

A saying I learned from my time in the military is very useful to me now. It embodies a philosophy of dealing with adversity. I am going to try hard to live by it: "Suck it up and drive on". Because no matter what obstacles to success I encounter, if I don't keep going I will never reach my goal. I have to pick myself up and keep going, driving on.

Report on my food goal

Last Sunday I posted about how I was going to stay away from my favorite restaurant for two weeks as well as fast food. My earlier efforts to stay away from them went well: I stayed away from fast food for three weeks and my fave restaurant for one. I felt ready to take it a little further. How'd I do?

Not very well! Last week was a bad week for me. Bad weather, bad economy, BF out of the country, and some other junk all had me feeling really down. For me, depression = junky eating. Also I didn't go the grocery store so I was out of oatmeal, sandwich stuff, and almost everything I use to make food at home. I basically set myself up to fail.

So now I forgive myself and move on. I went to the store and have stuff to make my lunch all week. We'll see how I do. I ended up with $60 left over from my spending money last pay period because I ate out less. I'd really like to have money left over again.

Not the stimulus I envisioned

I find it hard to wrap my head around some of the ginormous numbers coming out of Washington these days. The billions for Iraq and the $700+ billion corporate rescue package of last year were bad enough, but this new "stimulus" package seems to be shaping up to put them to shame. Mr. ToughMoneyLove has a new post about some of the things in the package (he actually looked at it, brave man) and I think I am going to be sick.

When I supported Obama's "Change" campaign I was envisioning something a little different from turning America into a pseudo communist welfare nation.

We the people, individually and collectively as a nation, have the ability to help pull ourselves out of the mess we are in. I was imagining a leader who would inspire us to want to invent new things (intellectual stimulus) especially in the alt energy area; get involved in our communities by putting together citizens' groups to clean up our cities, perform community service, and more (inspirational stimulus), all of which would make us better off and save the gov't money that it would have to spend on these services.

Instead, all I am hearing about is how Washington is going to solve everyone's problems by giving them money instead of letting them learn by their mistakes or working for help. Between the budget shortfalls in the federal government and the California state government, both of which are going to be made up for with higher taxes on ME, I feel like I am caught in a pincer. And by the way, all those nice handouts and mortgage help? So far it looks like I will be ineligible for any because my property value has fallen too far and my loan is too big. Nor will the "Making Work Pay" tax credit help me because my income is too high (only because I live in California where a high income is necessary to live as well as a person almost anywhere else would live with less than half of what I make). Maybe I shouldn't adjust my withholding if my tax rate is going to go up.

Ending on a positive note, because I do like to think positively, I don't have to wait for Obama to lead me to do the things I think people should be doing. I can do it on my own. It just would be nicer to have some leadership and some company in my efforts.

Take a look before it's too late

As I may have mentioned previously, I am a nurse. The place where I work is for me quite ordinary but for the people I take care of it is often the place where a major life changing event takes place. Sometimes I experience something that brings that home for me and really makes me think.

I recently took care of this guy who just had a surgical procedure having to do with his recent cancer diagnosis. He was in awesome shape to start with (and by awesome, I mean awesome for a 30-something although the guy was in his 60s) which definitely will help, as well as the fact that the cancer is a survivable type and was caught pretty early. He was lying in the bed and he said: "I think I want to do some volunteering. This whole thing has made me look at my life and I realized that I've been pretty self-absorbed." If he is lucky this guy will still have time to make use of his reflections and make his life into something he is proud to look back on. Probably he will (I hope so).

This looking back at one's life seems to be something that happens to a lot of people in adverse situations. It generally happens in a financial way to people who have money trouble. When I had a lot of debt I reflected on my financial life: "All that money I spent, did I really do anything good with most of it? Will it do anything to improve my life?" I learned that what I was doing with my money wasn't making me happy and I changed the way I behaved for the better. It is too bad it took big debt to make me look at what I was doing. Now I am pretty good with how I manage my money and when I reflect on it I am generally pleased, but finances are just one aspect of my life.

This man's reflections reminded me that I need to look at the complete picture of my life once in a while. What do I wish I was doing more of? or less? Who do I want to be and what am I doing to get there? How are my relationships with my family, friends, and community? I look at my financial picture regularly but how often do I reflect on my life as a whole? Not very often, and usually only when something bad happens. Then I rediscover regret, when it is too late to change things.

I decided to make a list (I am a girl who loves her lists) of things I think are important in life as they relate to self, personal relationships (family and friends), and community. This could be a very long list but I am only going to include two items per category: one thing I am doing right and one thing I need to work on. These are things that I would be really sad about if I reach the end of my life and realize that I failed to accomplish/maintain.

1. Self

Doing well: Growing as an artist in regards to some of my craft interests, especially embroidery and woodworking.
Needs work: Changing my eating habits to more healthy habits so I don't shorten my life with junk food.

2. Personal Relationships

Doing well: um, actually, nothing. I've really been ignoring people and taking them for granted lately. No wonder I feel bad about some of my behavior.
Needs work: (see above)

3. Community

Doing well: Staying informed by reading newspaper, read neighborhood group postings regularly.
Needs work: I have chosen to aid my community by helping eradicate graffiti. I used to go out and clean tagged utility boxes and street signs and such but I've been wrapped up in my own life and haven't done this for months.

This is the result of some of my self reflection. I wanted to share my reflections and the story of the man who hopes to have another chance at a better lived life in the hopes that someone who reads this will do the same. We are personal finance bloggers but when you consider what really matters it is people who matter more than money.

New goal

I'm taking the whole weaning myself off of my dining out habits thing in short steps. First I stayed away from fast food, then I stayed away from my favorite restaurant for a week (still no fast food). I took a week off and allowed myself a fast food meal and a couple meals at my favorite restaurant (but that is still a lot less than my prior pattern). I still eat at other restaurants but not as often. Now I am going to spend the next two weeks without fast food or my favorite restaurant. I bought mini cans of my favorite soda so I can have a soda when the urge to go out is really bad. Part of my dining out problem is my addiction to soda; I go to the restaurant because I want soda and end up (of course) eating a whole meal. Eventually my plan is to stop drinking soda as well, but if I did it all at once I'd end up on the floor, twitching. So one small step at a time, building on each prior success.

Small steps and building on past success are what helped me succeed with getting my finances under control and getting out of debt so I am going to try to apply those same principles to my dining out habit.

The reductions in dining out so far have saved me about $60 in the last two weeks. That's enough money to buy lavender plants to plant my parking strip without having to take from another budget. Yipee!

The Frugal Funeral

Recently I wrote a post about canceling my whole life insurance, and one of the selling points of the insurance was about getting money to my family right away so they could pay my "final expenses". That started me thinking about another area to be frugal: my funeral. If I'm going to have a frugal funeral then I don't need to waste a bunch of money paying for glorified funeral insurance.

If you're really frugal then you don't need a fancy funeral and your family should know it. Forearmed with that knowledge they can go the funeral home and fend off the guilt trip about showing their love one last time by buying the Cadillac coffin with all the extras: viewing, programs, flowers, staff to man the doors, etc.

My dad's funeral as an example of the frugal funeral:

My father died just over two years ago, and his funeral only cost a couple thousand. When he died my parents were up to their eyeballs in credit card debt and a pricey funeral would have put my mom over the edge. Fortunately, my father had no interest in fancy things. He grew up really poor and never got past the idea of having a mostly frill-free life (mom was the spender).

Does the choice of funeral home affect cost? I don't know. We just went to the one that advertised in the free church calendars. My mom and I had already been there on an 8th grade class field trip so there was some comfortable familiarity. (Yes, my school went on a field trip to the funeral home. We even got to see the embalming tables.) Knowing my dad didn't care about a fancy display, we were able to go right into the funeral home, choose the inexpensive cremation package, and be done with it.

Aside from the cremation costs, the expenses were minimal. Mr. K and I made the programs and prayer cards ourselves, one of my sisters made a photo collage of my dad's life to display, my other sister bought a fabric covered journal book for guests to sign, and the church was already bedecked with flowers for Christmas which was decoration enough. I baked cakes from scratch and we hosted the wake at home. The pastor of our church knew my dad well and gave a beautiful sermon. I know my dad would have been pleased by what we did, he liked home made stuff and gifts of time rather than money.

Caveat to not saving money for a funeral: The only reason I can see for wanting to have a bunch of money for a funeral is to give to relatives to defray their travel cost. Instead of that, how about getting together while everyone is alive? Isn't that better?

On an environmental note: Not getting embalmed saves money and the environment. Embalming chemicals are pretty nasty, are they the last contribution you want to make to the Earth?

The Frugal Mindset

Part of living a healthier financial lifestyle involves developing a frugal mindset, which goes hand in hand with conservation. If you are frugal, you are already adhereing to two of the three Rs of conservation: Reuse, Reduce and Recycle. With a frugal mindset, there are set pathways in your mind and your thoughts follow them automatically. The idea of the frugal mindset and its link to conservation came to mind after I read a newsletter from the state water district which included tips to reduce water use. One of the tips was to wash only full loads of laundry. The way I think about new sheet and towel purchases is only one example of how a frugal mindset works.

When I buy new things such as towels, sheets, and clothes one of the things I automatically consider is how I will wash them. If the color or material is such that it requires special care then I probably won't buy it (Lucky for me that my employer provides and will launder all my work clothes so I don't have to worry about business attire). I would probably not buy bright red towels unless I had lots of other things in bright red so they could all be washed in one load together. The tile in my bathroom is an unusual color scheme that goes best with black towels but since black is a common color in both my and Mr. K's wardrobe gathering a full load is no problem. Washing full loads saves me money in water and energy bill and also saves resources.

If I didn't have a frugal mindset then my main considerations would be style and enjoyment. I could end up having to wash some items separate from my other things because the fabric requires special handling or the color bleeds. Not only would this cost me money in water, electricity, and wear on my washing machine, it would also cost me in time and energy as I worried about sorting out my special items, keeping them out of the regular loads, then waited for the special loads to wash. If I take all that into account the special items don't seem worth it, do they?

Looking to increase my work hours, keeping my fingers crossed

One way I can improve my finances is by making more money. I work .7FTE (full time equivalent), 8-hour shifts now which means 56 hours in a two week pay period, plus on-call. I want a .9FTE 12-hour shift position because it would be six days working per pay period instead of seven and more hours (thus more money) but I have to wait until everyone with more seniority in my work area who wants a 12-hour position, has one. This seniority rule is part of the union contract and is not flexible. There is one person ahead of me on the list. I just heard that one position for sure, but probably two positions will be opening up very soon. If there are two positions then I will get one. Hooray!! Sixteen extra hours per pay period will be a big boost to the size of my paycheck! I am pleasantly optimistic now and awaiting final word hopefully by the end of the week.

Milestone achieved

My goal for last week was to not eat out at my favorite restaurant during the week. I do it so often I found it had become a compulsion (or addiction, choose your word) and I went even when I wasn't interested in going. I am also avoiding fast food in general. The occasional french fry will eventually be OK, but I was eating meals there several times a week. Yikes!

So far I am doing well on my plan to avoid fast food and I successfully stayed away from my favorite restaurant all during the week last week. The first two days away from my favorite junk were rather hard, then it became a little easier. The weather has been unpleasant lately which makes it easier to stay home. I did eat out a few times, but not as often and not following the compulsion to go to my favorite place. I have more money in my wallet than I usually do at this point between paychecks, let's see if I have any left over by next paycheck. That would be nice.

Just a reminder...

When was the last time you checked your credit report? You can get a free report every 12 months from each of the big three companies. Go to www.annualcreditreport.com to get your report. If you get one report at a time you can check your report three times a year for free.

Checking your credit report is one of those things everyone should do periodically, like checking the air in their tires (you check the air in your tires, right?).

Saver Loves a Spender, Part II: Compromise

When you are partnered up with someone you can't have your way all the time. That's part of what makes a partnership work in a way that is (mostly) acceptable to both of you. Sometimes being committed to a relationship means doing something you wouldn't choose on your own. Haven't we all sacrificed for someone we loved? Recently I made a compromise that goes against my nature, something I would never have done on my own.

Mr. K and I bought a big screen TV.

Not just any big screen, but a 60 inch top of the line plasma (Mr. K is an electronics geek, he always wants the best stuff). Holy cow, very expensive. And so BIG! It feels silly (to me, I think he wishes it were bigger but even 60" is really pushing it).

Flash back to ten years ago when Mr. K persuaded me to buy our old TV, a near top of the line 32 inch CRT (with S-video, and RGB!! -huh?, I said). Holy cow, so very expensive. And so BIG! It felt silly. But then.... I started to like it. Wow, movies look really good on the big screen, and video games are so much better! And now, people come over to our house to play games and watch movies instead of us going out. And they bring us food and wine, sweet!

Sometimes I think that I would end up like one of those bag ladies who dies with millions of dollars if it weren't for Mr. K. If it weren't for him I might let my thrifty impulses escalate until they were pathological and unhealthy. I let myself live a little better because of him.

And yes, I already had the money set aside for a big purchase. For three years he's been trying to talk me into a bigger TV so I was ready. I am willing to compromise and buy an unnecessary luxury item, but don't think I'm willing to go into debt to do it!

Opportunities are passing me by...

...as I sit on the bottom of a sea of financial potential in my underwater home.

It's hard to write off buying a house in 2007 as a mistake. I like my house (picture at right), I love having a garden, and I was tired of being a renter. That said, it is a struggle to watch my house's value continue to sink and not feel a bit despondent. It is a struggle to see interest rates drop and know that I can't take advantage because I am underwater with my loan. I know there are advantages to be had in this crisis for those who are prepared to take advantage. Sometimes something happens that drives it all home.

Yesterday I was looking online at homes for sale near where I live and one came up that caught my eye. This cute 1920s bungalow with a studio cottage in the back, on a really nice street was for sale near my neighborhood for only $400,000. Where I live that is crazy low, houses on that street were selling for $600-800K+ two years ago. I started dreaming of owning that house and fixing it up cute. Mr. K and I could have the 2 bedroom main house, Mr. K could have his office and I could have my dining room back. Our roommate could rent the studio instead of our 2nd bedroom. I'd only have to share the bathroom with Mr. K. Or, we could rent out both places, which would rent for enough to cover the mortgage and taxes, while staying in our current place.

I mentioned the idea to Mr. K and he was actually excited so we did a drive by of the house. We really liked it, and we often don't agree when it comes to houses. It would be so awesome to take advantage of the down market and get a rental property. Then, reality set in. Mr. K could afford the payments but has credit debt and no liquid savings. I could afford a 10% down payment but it would wipe out all my savings except half my emergency fund. Today the property was listed inactive in the MLS so it is probably sale pending after only a week on the market. We missed the boat.

On the bright side...

We both have good, stable jobs and I can pay the mortgage I have. If I raided every savings I have I could live almost a year without a job, longer if I sold my car. Financially, we're OK.

Thinking about that house was what motivated me to finally get off my duff and cancel that stupid whole life insurance. Mr. K was also motivated to do the same (we both fell prey to USPA&IRA at the same time), and he stopped payments to the stupid front load mutual fund USPA put him in, although he didn't cash out his current shares as they are almost at their lowest point ever (I cashed out a few years ago). Mr. K will now have about $400 extra per month and he plans to pay down his debt so he will have the financial freedom to take advantage of the next opportunity. We are more financially in sync at this moment than ever before, and it's great.

I was feeling really bummed until he said to me "Don't worry, there will be other opportunities and they will be just as good. Something else will come along." It will, and I should think about how I want to get ready for it.

Whole life insurance? I was a sucker once... (Financial Housekeeping, Part II)

I have some embarrasing things to admit, but I was young and there are lessons in them.

When I was in my 20s, newly graduated from college and a brand new 2LT (second lieutenant) in the Army, part of the orientation to the military was a seminar on investing. Sounds great, right? The presenter just happened to work for an investment and life insurance. Everything they said made so much sense. Their motto was "Pay yourself first". Front load mutual funds just got all the annoying fees out of the way up front, clearing the way to fee-free future investments. Whole life insurance "builds cash value", etc. (Are you choking yet?) The fact that they were allowed in a military orientation gave the impression of an official endorsement. I bought it, hook, line, and sinker.

*hanging my head in shame at the memory*

Did that mutual fund do as well as (almost) promised? Heh, heh, of course not, especially after paying all those front load fees. I liquidated that a few years ago, right around the time that the company, USPA & IRA, had a class action suit filed against it. The life insurance was only $90/month and I didn't have contact information to get rid of it and I was lazy so I let it be, foolishly.

Now, finally, I am freeing myself from the last of that bad investment. Why do I need a bunch of life insurance anyway? I have no children to care for and a BF who has a good job and can support himself without me. My mother inherited a huge pile of money from her parents (a story for another time) and has a pension and lifetime medical insurance, and her house is paid for; she doesn't need money from me. I have life insurance through my employer, how much more do I really need? My "final expenses" would be a couple thousand bucks for the funeral and BF has enough available in the joint account for that. For my situation life insurance is hooey. As for the "building cash value", I can borrow against the policy about half of what I contributed so far in premiums, at a rate of 8%. Heck, if I wanted to pay that much interest I would charge it on a creditcard.

Long story short, I just "found" an extra $90 a month in my budget! Bit by bit, I am working to improve my financial picture. What to do with the money? $90/month would keep my vacation fund in good condition, maybe I should take the money I was saving for death and invest it in living.

Decision about my windfall

As you may have read in a previous post, I am getting an unexpectedly large tax refund. I think I have decided what to do with it:

Nothing.

For now, anyway.

I still may end up using the money to pay down my second mortgage but I think I want the extra flexibility that cash gives me while I ponder possibilities. I'd like to see how much money I can find in my regular budget to accomplish my 2009 Mortgage Paydown Challenge (see sidebar at right). That's good enough for now.

Oatmeal in a rice cooker, oatmeal to the rescue of my finances

This post at 444Express started me thinking about oatmeal. 444's post is about instant oatmeal but this is about regular oatmeal. I've been attracted to the idea of eating oatmeal but for years I just couldn't do it. I kept buying oatmeal but only ever used it to make cookies.

Regular oatmeal is supposed to be better for you because it is less processed and doesn't have the chemical and sugary additives of instant oatmeal. It doesn't have a lot of calories and has lots of fiber. For 150 calories you get 4g fiber and 5g protein but only 3g fat and 1g sugar. That's the same calories as a soda, and much more filling. Regular oatmeal is also cheaper than instant and has less packaging.

I never made oatmeal because I hated cooking it in a pan, having to watch it and stir it. I do not want to spend that kind of time on breakfast if I have to go to work. Actually, I don't want to spend time cooking oatmeal any day because I think it tastes like paste, I just eat it sometimes because it is good for me.

A couple of months ago I discovered that it is possible to cook oatmeal in a rice cooker. Eureka! With the rice cooker I can put the oats in the cooker the night before, then add water and start it up. The oatmeal cooks in the time it takes me to shower. Or, I can make a big batch ahead of time, divide it up into my little Pyrex glass bowls, put it in the fridge and reheat as needed. What I usually end up doing is taking the oatmeal to work and eating it on my first break.

I have heard of soaking oats overnight before cooking them, if that is possible then I could put the oats and water in the cooker the night before, then plug in and press "start" in the morning. For cleanup I fill the cooker with water and soak it during the day and wash it when I get home. Easy!

How does all this relate to personal finance? If I eat food from home then I am cheaply fed. If I am not hungry then I am less likely to eat lunch in the expensive work cafeteria or go out to eat on my way home. Average cafeteria meal: about $5-8. Average dinner out: about $12. Sometimes I do both!! Saving myself $20 even two days a week adds up to over $1600/year. Yikes! Healthy and money-saving!

Breaking up with my favorite restaurant

Wish me luck, I am staying away from my favorite restaurant for this week. I'd like to be able to choose to go there occasionally instead of going regularly out of habit. I'd liked to be not so hooked on restaurant food and drinking soda. From a financial perspective, I'd like to spend less money on food. I bought myself some soda for home so I don't fail because I feel deprived (I usually only drink soda in restaurants).

Three weeks ago I decided to break my fast food habit. Since then I've only had fast food once (and it wasn't as good as I remembered) and I think I can go three more weeks.

I am taking gradual steps to change my food life the same as I did for my financial life. It helps to have a goal! My financial goal was to get out of debt, my food associated goal is to not be overweight at my sister's wedding this fall.

Have any bad habits you decided to break? How did that work out?

Financial Housekeeping

I am a list-making person. Lists not only help me keep track of things I want to do, just making them helps me organize my thoughts and priorities.

Here is my to do list for this week:

1. Take my vacation and clothing cash stash and deposit it in the bank. (DONE)
2. Open ING savings for vacation and clothes funds. (DONE 2/11, only I didn't go with ING)
3. Send $1000 of my tax refund to my first mortgage principal. (DONE)
4. Monthly checkbook balancing. (DONE 2/9)
5. Change my W-2 withholding so I don't get such a huge refund next year. (DONE 2/10)
6. Increase my 403(b) contributions so I can max it out.
7. Start a tracking worksheet for credit card purchases.

Credit card purchases are the rabbit hole of my finances. I pay the balance off every month, but I am often surprised by how much it is. What am I buying, besides gas? How did it get to over $400? I really don't like the tedious process of looking at my spending that closely but if I want to find more money to save then I have to do this.

Stupid tips to get a refi

I recently read this asinine article on MSN (byline Bankrate.com). The headline on the MSN main page, "How to refinance when bank says 'no'", caught my eye. The actual article was titled: Want to refinance but can't? 3 tips.

I thought, "Could there really be a way to get a refi on an underwater mortgage? I have to check this out!"

Um, not so much...

Here are the three tips:

Tip Number One:
Problem: Inadequate or negative equity (oo oo, that's me! *breathless* What can I do?)
Solution: Reduce principal (but how, by magic?)

The article advises: "A lump sum can be applied from a savings or retirement account, sale of another asset, income tax refund or bonus." (No s#!t, why didn't I think of that? *slaps forehead* Hey, Bankrate, if I'd had an extra $200,000 lying around don't you think I would have used the money to pay off my second mortgage!?) NOTE: $200,000 is what I'd need to get to 80% LTV in the current market.

Tip Number Two:
Problem: Inadequate income or excessive debt (not me, but a problem for a lot of people)
Solution: Earn more, pay off debt
The article advises: The most obvious solution to a troublesome DTI (debt to income ratio) is to earn more income through a better-paying job, pay raise or second job. (In these troubled economic times, with rising unemployment, I'll just step out and get a better job. I should be a CEO, I'll start applying on Monday.)

Tip Number Three:
Problem: Credit score is too low
Solution: Pay bills on time (That works? I never knew!)

If those tips are new to anybody it is no wonder they are in trouble. Sorry for the rant, but I am tired of all the lowest common denominator type news stories. How about some useful tips and information? There's much better information in the PF blogs than in the news.

Makin' due not buyin' new, and starting out right

Just because I am frugal doesn't mean I don't like to look nice or have nice things. Of course I do! Every so often I try to do some upkeep on me and my stuff so I feel good about myself and my lifestyle. This list isn't all-inclusive, it is just stuff I have done recently or plan to do soon.

1. Polish my shoes. My favorite shoes are a nice pair of Danskos that cost over $100 but have classic style, a little bit of a heel, and have lasted for years. The occasional polish keeps them looking near new. Many times people throw things away that are serviceable but look shabby.

2. Clean out my car. My car is only a couple of years old but if I take care of it'll look new for longer. Even my old 1983 Corolla looked spiffy when it was all clean and polished. I kept it longer than I otherwise might have because it still looked nice.

3. Home spa. Do maintenance on you! I feel better about myself when I feel like I look good, and when I feel good I make better decisions. It is a pleasure to pay someone to do facial, hair and nails but it is expensive! In between major hair service I can keep my color fresh on my own (I use the same products because I have access to the wholesale professional supply stores).

4. Polish metal. The sink fixtures, towel racks and chrome stove top all look their best with the occasional polish. Every once in a while I like to bring out the Brasso.

5. Clean the windows. The world looks a bit dingy when viewed through a year's worth (or longer) of dust and water spots on the windows.

6. Launder carefully. I line dry my more fragile items so they last longer. Eventually I plan to get a clothesline in the back yard so I can line dry most of my stuff then just fluff in the dryer. Also, when I put sheets and towels away I put the freshly washed items on the bottom of the stack so that everything gets rotated. This keeps any one towel or sheet getting faded and worn while the rest of the set looks new (especially important for dark colors). When they are all worn out I'll buy all new together.

7. Start with quality. We've made hundreds of smoothies over the years. In the beginning I bought a cheap blender. Then I bought a slightly better blender but it still couldn't crush ice like the restaurant blenders. We didn't like our homemade smoothies as much as the store bought ones because they weren't as smooth, and we were spending a bunch of money buying multiple inexpensive blenders and store smoothies. Finally we decided to buy the expensive restaurant quality blender and we now make smoothies we like as well as or better than the store and the blender is going strong after nine years. The cheap blenders lasted less than one. I also replaced my cheap sander with a nice sander. If you start with quality in the beginning you can save in the long run over multiple replacements for cheap items. I may never need to buy another blender or sander as long as I live.

Being a Saver who loves a Spender

Thanks for the comments to my last post about what to do with the big tax refund I inadvertently set myself up for. I have a couple weeks to think before I get the Fed money and who knows when I'll see money from the broke state of California. I may decide to just hold on to the Fed money until California pays me and think about it.

Dog Ate My Finances had this interesting post about merging money with a significant other. Funny she should post about that as I was drafting a post about a related topic: How to cope when one of you is a saver and the other is a spender?

I don't have a definitive answer to that; it's a thorny problem that has no doubt doomed many a relationship. The solutions will vary between couples but no matter what they should be grounded in each person having respect for the other. We all came to our current financial habits through life experiences that have shaped us and are tied to emotions. Getting to the bottom of our reasons for why we spend/save the way we do may help us to understand each other and find common ground where we can meet. It is easy for the saver to feel like she has the moral high ground but nobody likes to be condescended to by the self-righteous. On the other hand, a caring partner does not let her S.O. ride his financial horse off a cliff.

Here is my situation: I used to have a spending problem; I accumulated lots of consumer debt in addition to my student loans. When I finally decided to break free of my debt I went at it with a vengeance, working a second job and holding off on major purchases and elaborate vacations. Now I live below my means and am saving for the things I want: comfortable retirement, my next car, a vacation, a new wardrobe, etc. I put most of my extra money towards savings and paying off my mortgage early.

Mr. K isn't much of a saver except for his 401(k). We have a joint account for paying utilities and common bills but otherwise keep our money separate. He has a checking account only, no savings. He would like to eventually buy some property and build us a house but he can't afford it because he doesn't have enough money set aside. I would like to encourage him to open a savings account and stash some money away so that when he spends the money in his checking it won't be everything he has. I don't want to run his life but I think he'll be sad eventually when he realizes that he wasted a lot of life and money on things that aren't important in the long run and has less to show for it than he hoped. I know I felt bad about all the time, money and energy I wasted on buying and paying for junk instead of doing things with my life that I feel proud of; I don't want him to go through that.

If I had my way, Mr. K would be on a strict budget, putting money in savings, paying off debt, and no more spending. He would plan for major purchases in advance and not make any until he is debt free. There is no way this is going to happen. Besides, I don't think I would even want to control him like that. I would like him to take the tiny step of opening a savings. I think that when he sees it start to grow he will want to save more and he won't spend as much. Then someday he'll have the money so we can get his dream land in the mountains.

What to do with a windfall?

Last year when I did my 2007 taxes I received a refund but I made mortgage payments for a partial year only. I wasn't sure about how 2008 would work out because it was going to be my first year of making payments for a whole year so I was conservative with my withholding. I didn't take into account how much my interest payments would reduce my income, putting me into an entirely different tax bracket. I was thinking I'd get about a thousand dollars back.

Um, oops...

My combined fed/state refund is going to be about TWELVE THOUSAND DOLLARS! (Cash from Fed, I.O.U. from State)

Holy cow! What am I going to do with all that money?!

First of all, I need to change my withholding. I am not maxed out on my 403(b) so I am going to increase my contribution at the same time. I will still be a bit conservative with my withholding; I know the argument about giving the government a free loan by overpaying, but I always use my refund to pay down debt in a big chunk and it makes me feel happy. It's one of those emotion-based financial decisions, but one I can live with.

Second of all, what to do with the money? As much as a new steam washer/dryer are calling my name I already have a serviceable set and I don't really need them. Here's the tentative plan: $10,000 on the second mortgage, $1000 to the first mortgage, and $1000 undecided. My original goal for the year was $10,000 paid to principal of my second mortgage, now I can double that amount this year. Whoopee!!

Check Your Financial Accounts Regularly - It Matters!

My mortgage company ate my principal payment for January. I looked at my account online and my $1000 additional principal payment was credited as if it was a regular payment, only early. About half went to interest! And now, because I "owe" so little for my February payment date, the bank is only going to debit $8. Ugh! Arrrgh! I was almost below $127,000 in principal and I wanted to see the number move!

It is so close to the regular payment date that reversing the mid-month payment may not affect the amount set to debit next week, leaving me with a missed payment. According to the nice lady on the phone my best option at this point is to let it ride until the monthly debit is done ($8 instead of the usual $1004), then use the rest of the $1004 I had for the payment and make a principal payment. According to the lady on the phone the difficulty arose because I have a fixed rate equity loan (my second mortgage) and they are "tricky". Sheesh. Everything about banks is tricky!

During the conversation, the phone rep told me that there is a separate address for principal payments and the best way to make sure that my principal payments are indeed credited towards principal is to mail them to this address. I wish somebody had told me that in the beginning!

She also showed me how to make payments online using my account at a different bank. That was neat! I can make free payments at any time. I think that this is how I will make principal payments in the future. When I get paid I pay bills and put money in savings but I put money towards savings in even hundred amounts, usually leaving me with less that $100 that I just roll over into next payday's budget. Instead I could send this money towards principal payments and help my debt snowball. Sweet!

The Games We Play: Hiding Money From Myself

When looking for ways to save more money, use whatever works. Mind games are bad for relationships but they can be helpful with money, sometimes.

I hide money from myself.

Instead of spending coin, I save it and only use bills for most of my transactions, putting the coin into my piggy bank. When my pig is full I take it to the credit union where they have a free coin counter. The money goes to my vacation savings which I keep in cash.

In order to have access to the free coin counter at the credit union I have to have an account there. I once thought to make that my primary bank but their service was terrible so I never did but I kept the account. Not just for the coin counter but also because they have an ATM at my work that allows withdrawals in increments of $5. I hide my new car fund there. I paid my last car off in six months but next time I want to pay cash.

I made a fake withdrawal in Quicken to create a cushion so I don't accidentally overdraw my account (although linking my checking to a savings is the real overdraft protection). It is enough money for a minor house repair so that is my "minor house repair" fund. I've been doing that for so long that I really don't think of that money as real money.

Years ago, I started saving for a new wardrobe, in cash. This was supposed to be my reward for dropping a size. I did the same thing the last time I dropped a size but I have stagnated at that size so long the clothes I bought are worn out/wearing out/getting unfashionable. I have the $1500 sitting in an envelope but I think I should just put it in the bank so at least it can earn a little interest.

I am a union rep for my work area. Every month we have a meeting for which I am paid $40, less than my regular hourly wage but it is still money. I save it up in my "buy something frivolous without guilt" fund. It is cash in an envelope.

My mom gives me cash for birthday and Christmas. I used two years' worth of money to buy a little iPod stereo but I have another year's worth sitting in an envelope, in cash.

Notice anything here? That's a lot of CASH! Given inflation as a constant, actual cash money is a depreciating asset. The $1500 I put away for clothes 2 1/2 years ago doesn't have the same buying power now (current economy driven sales notwithstanding). If I had put it in an ING savings at 2.4% I would have an additional $92! That's a nice pair of shoes!

When I was financially very immature, running up credit card debt and impulse spending, I needed to hide money so I wouldn't spend it. Hiding money was part of the beginning of my path to changing my financial behavior. But now I am thinking that I am beyond games and that I am financially grown up enough to stop hiding my money. So now I am thinking about how to go about it. More on that in a later post.

Sharing Saves - Having a Roommate

When you want to save money, having a roommate can be a big money saver. Count the ways:

✪ Money - The rent money is additional money you can use to pay down debt or increase savings. This is making the difference in enabling me to pay extra on my mortgage without having to eat ramen. Ramen is yucky.

✪ Shared costs are less for all - the fridge has to be on all the time no matter if it is holding food for one, two or ten. The electricity and water bills will be more expensive but the average cost per person is still less for utilities.

✪ Less is better - the more space you have to put things, the more you will buy. Having a roommate means one less room to fill with extra junk. Reducing your possessions means living more simply which makes it easier to spend less. I had to get rid of a lot of stuff and found that I was happier when I did. I have to be careful when I shop because if I buy something there has to be a place in the house to put it.

✪ Many hands make light work - Ideally, all members of a household contribute to keeping it clean. There are more dishes to wash and the bathroom gets dirty faster but if everyone is helping it is easier. No housekeeper or gardener needed! My roommate cleans the shower, I do the rest of the bathroom. One of us always remembers to get the bins out on trash day. We all work in the yard. I like to clean the kitchen, she likes to clean the floors. It's great to not have to be the only one cleaning the litterbox!

How I ended up with a roommate

If someone had asked me to consider having a roommate I would have said "No, way!" I paid extra in college to have a single dorm room, then got an apartment by myself. I have always been shy, private, and found pleasure in solitude. Why would I ever agree to have a roommate, stranger or friend? Never!

A few years ago my BF and I decided to live in the same city again which meant we had to find a place to live. The small, dark, unheated "hobbit hole" I was living in at the time was totally unsuitable for the both of us (or even me for that matter). We lucked into a great rental: a 3 bedroom 2 1/2 bath house in a decent neighborhood for only $2000/month, a fantastic deal in the Bay Area.

After we signed the lease, however, my BF was offered a six month tour in Kuwait. He was going to have to look for work when he moved to live with me so it was a great opportunity for him to make a nice chunk of money to pay off his debt and pay the bills while he looked for work. Six months alone with three bedrooms seemed silly to me. A friend I have known since high school was looking for a new living situation at the time so we decided that she would stay with me. She and my BF got along really well so when he came back she stayed. The house was plenty big enough for all of us.

Then I bought my own house. We went from three bedrooms to two, 2 1/2 baths to one, and less storage. But by this time I had adjusted to having people around and knew I could tolerate it. In fact, I actually like it a lot. I also liked the money. With the gigantic mortgage I was taking on having some extra money seemed like a good thing. So my roommate came along. (BTW, my roommate is the one who gave me the nickname "K-money" because she knows how much I like to save money. Even my BF calls me K-money sometimes. Sheesh!)

How my sister ended up with a roommate

My sister was renting a tiny two bedroom house (about 700 sq ft) and had credit card debt. She didn't want the long term roommate situation I had but was willing to part with some of her space and privacy in exchange for cash. We lived not too far from a major university at the time. Lots of students go to this university for internships, etc that are only a semester or less. My sister rented out her second bedroom to a student for a couple months, then to another student for a few more months. The extra money helped her aggressively pay down her debt and the short term rental meant that she wasn't locked into having a roommate indefinitely. If my roommate ever left I would consider this option, definitely.

My sister and I both work in health care so we know that there a lot of travel nurses who need a place to live. Their employers provide an apartment or stipend but some of them would rather take the housing stipend and find someplace cheaper to live so they can make even more money. It is another short term opportunity to make some extra money.

Not everyone has enough space that they are able to get a roommate. Not everyone will luck into finding a person to live with who they completely get along with, either. But the idea has potential and is worth considering if you need/want extra money.

Do I want to climb the CD ladder?

When I was building my emergency fund I just focused on having the money, not how I would take care of it once I had it. As my fund grew bigger, I started to think about where I would keep all that money. It is for emergencies so it has to be pretty liquid and accessible. Interest rates for savings are so low now that I almost might as well keep it under my mattress. Right now I am making 1.01% - it's laughable! The solution I came up with was to put one month's expenses (my E-fund is bases on four months of expenses) in a six month CD. Two months later I put another month's expenses into a CD. In another two months I did the same again. I am keeping one month's expenses in the savings. Every two months a CD will roll over, this month that is happening for the first time. The short term on the CD means that while I don't get as good of an interest rate as a longer term CD I still get more than with the conventional savings; also I won't have to wait that long if I anticipate needing the money in the near future.

Recently I heard about CD laddering, where you take a bunch of money, divide it into five portions, and every year you buy a five year CD. After a few years you have a CD maturing every year. Because the five year interest rates are higher the return is better but some of the money is accessible every year. I think that is a good idea but I'm not sure I want to do it, at least not with my emergency fund. Maybe with some other money. But the idea has given me something to think about.

Sidenote: I used to work as a bank teller in the early 90s. I remember looking at the rates for a 20 year CD and they were 12%. I think 5 year rates were around 7%. Thinking about that and looking at today's rates makes me want to gag. If I could have cobbled together $1000 back then how much money would I be looking at the end of 20 years? I don't even want to calculate it, I might cry.

When Mr. K$ is away, Miss K$ likes to play

Every so often Mr. K$ has to go out of town for his job for a week or two. For some reason, every time he goes away I want to make changes at home. I'll change things, do a big house cleaning, rearrange the furniture, etc. I think it is fun to make improvements and surprise him, unfortunately Mr. K$ does not like surprises.

The time I took a sledgehammer and tore down the decrepit, ugly dirty brick BBQ/fireplace in the backyard (it was on our eventual to-do list) did not go over well, nor did the fact that I had all the old bricks and debris hauled away. But it was so fun! I would love it if I went away for two weeks leaving the house a disaster and returned to find the house sparkly clean and a major bit of work accomplished, but that is just me and not him. I make pouty face about it but I understand and am trying to be better.

So now that he is gone again, what am I to do? I have all this energy! I think I feel this way because I like the idea of a short term goal with a deadline. I really work better with a short deadline. My best work in college was started the day before it was due. Thinking about how my extra payments will pay off my second mortgage in only TEN YEARS instead of thirty, while a very good goal, just isn't as fun.

So what did I decide to do while he is away? Purge my stuff, as I mentioned in my last post. I know that purging only my stuff won't bother him at all. My goal is to have so much stuff gone that I actually have room for new stuff. I'm not planning new stuff, just breathing room. Credit card receipts so old the ink is faded away? Gone! Books I can find at the library if I want to reread them? Gone! Materials for craft projects I'll never get around to? Going! Rearrange the living room? Yes, that too, but at least I warned him this time. I'll have to empty out the drawers of big furniture pieces before I move them so I'm sure some of the contents of those drawers will land in the giveaway pile. Why do I have a huge collection of gift wrap when we don't give lots of gifts in my family anymore? I could pare it down to 20% of what I currently have and still have enough to last for many years. It's going! Why do I have four identical spools of thread in odd colors I am unlikely to use? I'll keep one and get rid of the rest.

I am having a FABULOUS time cleaning out my junk. My trunk is packed with stuff for Goodwill, there is open space visible in my basement, and I don't have trouble shutting any of my dresser drawers. I'd like to have the trunk of my car filled a second time and the recycling bin full by the end of the weekend. Once upon a time I had so much extra stuff that the big house I used to live in wasn't big enough and I had to store many many boxes with my parents. I keep having these periodic purges and I don't buy nearly as much stuff any more so I have less and less stuff and feel better and better about it. I don't store anything with my parents now and soon I will have all my stuff stored in drawers or on shelves, no more piles in closet or basement. Next I want to get rid of so much stuff that I can get rid of some extra furniture that I use to store the extra stuff. I already banished one bookcase, can I get rid of an extra desk?

Cleaning out the White House and my house, too.

Here is to hope and a new presidency! I am cleaning out closets and my basement in honor of cleaning out the White House ( well, it is actually a happy coincidence). Five bags of usable (just not by me) items sit at my door waiting to depart tomorrow with more to come.

New web address

Welcome to the new Three Rooms and a Path! I decided to make a new blog and use the title of my blog as the web address to make it simpler and more logical. I should have done this when I first started but I was lazy so I am doing it now before I have too many posts to move over. If there is a better way to do this then just copying and pasting every post and comment I am not aware of it so it looks a bit awkward but will be better in the future.

Frugal living made better (and greener!) with Traditional Skills, but where can you learn them?

Among the ways to live a greener and more frugal lifestyle are growing food to eat and making things for the home.  The home garden can cost a lot less than organic produce from the store. Homemade or repaired items for the home can also save over buying new.  Recycling unwanted or broken items into new is green, too!  One problem that many people nowadays have with this concept is that they lack what were once common skills necessary to grow or make things for themselves.

How many of the following things can you do?

*grow vegetables
*canning/preserving
*cook
*make perfumes/essential oils from plants
*compost yard waste
*sew simple household items (curtains, napkins, pillows)
*sew, or at least alter, clothes (can you hem pants?)
*knitting, quilting, embroidery, crochet
*shine shoes
*build furniture or basic woodworking
*metalworking, including forging, welding, soldering
*basic plumbing
*car maintenance and repair

Many of these skills, if not learned in the home, used to be learned at school.  Middle and high schools used to have home ec, wood shop, metal shop, auto shop, and crafts class.  In my area and I'm guessing nationwide, many of these programs have been eliminated due to budget cuts and new requirements to teach technology and Leave No Child Behind.  Even where they exist kids are often pressured to skip shop in favor of classes that are better for getting into college.  I sure was.

Now that I want to use them, where do I learn these skills?  There are many places!  I now know where to learn most of these skills in my area, where did I find them?

1)  Local adult education programs teach a wide variety of skills.  I've taken classes in stained glass, calligraphy, manuscript illumination, flower arranging, altering clothes at home, picture framing, woodworking and metal shop.  I live in a large metropolitan area that contains many smaller cities and towns, all with unique offerings.  I just Googled for adult ed in every single town in my area.  They are also usually pretty low cost.

2)  Libraries often host workshops or have a bulletin board with advertisements for local offerings.  My nearby library hosts a FREE weekly knitting class and a rug making group.  They have advertisements for other classes such as gardening.

3)  Community centers often have classes.  I can learn pottery, guitar, and Tagalog at mine.

4)  Newspapers, especially neighborhood papers, often have listings for activities.  Gardening and cooking classes are common.

5)  Local nurseries often offer free or low cost workshops on such topics as pruning roses and trees, composting, growing native plants, the water wise garden, and more.

6)  If you have an interest, look on the internet.  Either Google it or look for a society or organization that focuses on your interest.  Pottery, calligraphy, art societies and others often have a link to places you can learn locally.  That's how I found out I could learn blacksmithing in my area.  I also found a drop-in workshop for learning to paint traditional icons using hand made paint just like the Old Masters did.  I sure couldn't learn that from art class in college.  There's even a group that builds robots and another focused on building things powered by steam!  Who knew?!

7)  Craft stores usually have workshops.  My local yarn store will teach you how to knit using hair from your pet.  That would be extremely green!  Michael's and other chain craft stores have classes in picture framing and cake decorating.  I refined the quilting skills learned from my grandmother at a fabric store.  My mom took cake decorating when we kids were little and as a result she was able to make the most amazing cakes for our birthdays for very little money.

8)  Many community colleges offer short courses, or even semester length courses, in basic skills such as basic home repair and auto repair.

9)  Churches will sometimes host classes.  An Episcopalian church near me hosts monthly art and language classes.  I study icon painting at an Orthodox church.  You don't have to stick to your own faith when it comes to attending life skills classes unless you find that morally intolerable.

10)  The internet is a resource for learning skills.  I personally find it hard to learn that way but if you are so remote there is no other option, there is that at least.  Check out YouTube.  Many videos are posted with demonstrations of skills; that's a bit better than following written directions or drawings.

Now before you complain that you live in a small town and only big cities have that much variety, I will admit that is true.  Yet many smaller areas still have a good selection of classes.  Several of the classes I mentioned above I took when I lived in a city of less than 100,000 in the South.  A couple were offered where I lived in Wyoming (and that is pretty isolated!).

These skills can also be used to benefit others and create a stronger connection to society.  As an example I once solicited donated money to buy materials that I used my sewing skills to turn into a basic layette set for every baby that was born at the hospital where I was working for an entire year (it was a small hospital, with many low income patients, but I still had to sew over 300 sets!).  There are also groups that make quilts for child victims of natural disasters.  Or how about donating your produce to a food bank? My neighborhood hosts produce exchanges in harvest season.  I trade things from my garden for things I don't grow.  People who don't garden can buy produce with proceeds going to a particular neighborhood beautification project, and everything left at the end of the day goes to the food bank.  The options are limitless.

Making things yourself is often cheaper than buying new, and when it isn't cheaper it is still good to know you are not using something made in deplorable working conditions with questionable materials in some foreign country. There is also a strong sense of satisfaction that comes from having skills and using them to make your life better.

POSTED BY K-MONEY AT 10:00 AM

COMMENTS:

Miss M said...
My old work had a bullpen style office (almost no walls/cubes) and all the guys around me were Filipino. If I stayed around much longer I would have absorbed Tagalog, they chattered away all day long. It was like the Far Side cartoon what dogs hear, blah blah blah sit blah blah...only it was blah blah blah Washington Redskins blah blah blah! They'd usually be talking sports, or at least that was my guess. I wish I were stronger with foreign languages.

Nice list, I can do a few of those things but I'm leaving the welding to Mr M!

JANUARY 17, 2009 3:23 PM