Find a way to do what you love

This post is not about personal finance or frugality per se, but I believe it is relevant because the benefits of sound personal finance and being frugal are related to living a joyful life and not a life tied only to money or material things.

Is there something you enjoy doing and have a passion for? What are you doing to follow your passion? Years ago I was really interested in crafts but never really did anything with them. After a family tragedy I took stock of my life and thought about all the things I wanted to do and wished I had done. I decided that I did not want to get to the end of my life and regret that I had not used my time well. Here's what happened:

I started doing crafts again. I found several crafts I really liked and eventually narrowed my focus to a few things on which I could focus my energy. Then I discovered the internet, including craft websites and blogs. I was inspired to develop a comprehensive body of work worthy of a website. I developed a narrow field of focus and put my efforts into doing just a few things but doing them well. I searched for people with similar interests and contacted them. Like minded individuals (not a lot, but more than I expected) from countries all over the world discovered my work and appreciated it. When I couldn't find needlework patterns I liked I started designing my own. I found an opportunity to teach a class in my specialty (not for money, but it will be practice and exposure) in a few weeks and having that deadline is forcing me to get my patterns fully developed and ready for publication as handouts. I am also making kits so beginners can make my patterns and end up with a useful item. One of the contacts I made is the editor of an obscure online needlework journal and as she is going to feature the type of work I do in an issue she is going to feature my work in the issue. The proprietor of my local needlework store also admires my work and has offered herself as a resource if and when I decide to publish patterns professionally. I am now at the point where I can see potential income from my hobby. Probably not much, especially because my field of interest is pretty obscure and limited. But I'll enjoy doing what I do regardless of wether I make money or not so that's OK. All of this has taken uncounted hundreds of hours of work on my part. But because I enjoy what I do so much it doesn't seem like work at all. Even the small recognition I have received so far is deeply fulfilling and only serves to motivate me to do more, and better. I don't know where this is going but I am enjoying the process and the journey, and I now understand how those who succeed are driven by passion for what they do rather than having making money as an end goal.

Lessons I've learned so far:

1) It is easy to work hard at something you love.
2) It is important to be good in a field where you want to succeed.
3) It is really important to communicate in order to get noticed. Put yourself out there!
4) Contact people who share your interests. People who enjoy what they do also enjoy talking about what they do and can be really helpful not to mention good sources of information.
5) It is really amazing how one thing will naturally lead to another. Each little step is the building block to reach the next step.
6) Success is a lot of little steps, not one giant leap.
7) Success is as much about the journey as reaching the goal.

California refund and shopping

After stating it would hand out IOUs to taxpayers due refunds, the state of California is finally paying out the money it owes. I received my tax refund last week after filing at the end of January. It was about time!

I already adjusted my withholding so that hopefully I will be due little if any refund next year. I used to like getting a Federal refund because I always used the money for something constructive like paying down loans but I believe I am now financially disciplined enough to put that money mind game away and put my money to good use as soon as I earn it.

Speaking of putting money to good use, I actually went out and spent some money. My wardrobe was looking pretty raggedy; not a single outfit fit for being seen in except by supermarket clerks and people who already know and love me! $150 at Old Navy bought me enough clothing to make several nice outfits. I bought the clothes in colors which match accessories I already own so I didn't have to buy any accessories. Two good things came out of this experience besides refreshing my wardrobe and having clothes I am not embarrassed to be seen in: 1) Spending the money was stress free because I have a savings fund for clothing and 2) I was reassured that I have not become such a tightwad that even sensible, planned, justified spending feels wrong. The whole point of being careful with money is to enhance my quality of life, not just to have more and more money. I don't want to end up one of those wacko bag ladies who live like beggars but have millions in the bank when they die.

My frugality goal is to be logical, not pathological.

The title of this post seems to imply that I spent my tax refund on shopping. Not so. The refund is a few thousand (my first full year with mortgage deduction plus changing jobs plus fear of not withholding enough = way overestimating my withholding) and I'm not sure what to do with it. Pay down mortgage? Home improvement? Savings? For now it is going to be parked in a savings account. I'll decide what to do with it later.

Discovering the second "R" in Reuse, Reduce & Recycle

During the time of my moratorium of fast food I found myself spending less money in general. In addition to the obvious benefit of saving money I noticed another benefit when trash day rolled around: saving the environment. When I went to empty all the trash cans I discovered that there was not enough trash in the house to fill the under-the-sink kitchen trash can. I emptied more garbage out of my cat litter box over the week than I did in the house. My recycling can held the week's newspapers and junk mail, a few empty bottles/cans, and little else. I was amazed at how little trash my household produced.

It felt like a revelation to me but it really should have been obvious. When you buy less there is less packaging to throw away. Especially with fast food, it really is amazing how much packaging it takes to contain such a relatively small amount of food. Some of the packaging is recyclable but a lot has to be trashed. I've always felt good about trying to recycle as much as possible but it would be better if I didn't have anything to recycle in the first place.

First Harvests

In addition to the winter arugula we planted, and the lemons and oranges, these flowers are the first harvests of the new year. We planted bulb flowers so we have freesia in addition to the lilies. The blossoms are from the branches of the peach tree which were hanging into my neighbor's yard. The lavender we cut back after a bad January frost is starting to bloom as well.

It is nice to see prior planning pay off so early in the season. I am looking forward to a nice harvest this year!

How far would you go to cut back?

I was reading this article on MSN about a woman trying to survive on $32,000/year and how the first crisis for the poor was the gas prices of last summer, not the stock price and housing collapse of now. This woman went from being able to put away $40 per month to draining her savings to pay for expensive gas. I was sympathetic with the woman until the point in the article where it said that this woman, poor woman, had to switch to Kool-Aid packets instead of soda for her kids to drink. What!? To me, this right here is symbolic of something wrong in America. We regard luxuries as necessities and cry "poor me" when forced to curtail any luxury.

If it came right down to it, where money was that tight, what would you plan to change in your life to decrease your expenses? To, in the words to one of my favorite songs (by Bad Religion, from their "How could Hell be any worse" album with a picture of downtown L.A. on the cover) "dig real deep, and give until it hurts"?

Here's what I would do:

No more cable, because TV is not necessary. If I want the internet I can go to the library or go to work early and do my surfing before my shift starts. No more eating out, period. Purchase staples such as rice and oatmeal in bulk, cook a big batch at the beginning of the weak, and eat it all week long. Cut down on eating meat to three days a week or so. Utilize more of the produce that grows in my yard: almonds, oranges, lemons, peaches, plus my vegetable beds. Cancel the house phone, switch the cell (have to have a cell for work) to pay as you go and use it minimally. Use the free bus pass offered by my work even though taking the bus makes my commute three times as long. I could also earn more by taking a second job and only giving myself one day off a week. Life would be less pleasant if I did this but I could shave about $500+ from my budget, or more, and increase my income by $1000/month or more with the extra job. I call that painful but it would still leave me with my own roof over my head, a full belly, and still making contributions to my retirement plan as well as making additional principal payments on my mortgage. If I stopped contributing to my 403(b) and stopped making principal payments I could save another $1400 per month. Overall, if I was super hurting for cash in the short term (and still had my job) I could find an extra $1900+ in my budget with the possibility of more if I work another job.

Until I really looked at it I had no idea there was so much wiggle room in my budget. How much room is in your budget?

Change I can believe in

I seem to be on a stream of consciousness kick this week...

I only made the first ten minutes into Alexandra Pelosi's "Right America" documentary following the McCain Campaign (it was after midnight and I was too sleepy) but I wanted to laugh out loud at all the quotes from people talking about how the number one issue in America is abortion, or gays. The campaign was just last summer; just a few short months later, would people be saying that now? I don't think so. I think the #1 issue in America is the economy. It was laughable, in a sad way. Now that I think about it, how many women will have abortions who otherwise would not have because they are fearful to raise a child in this economic climate? I would argue that people are more likely to welcome children when times are better.

But I digress...

All this rescue package stuff makes me feel so frustrated and sad. I wanted Obama to make rousing speeches about Americans taking responsibility for the mess we are all in, and telling us to own our responsibility and pay the bills that are due. I was hoping for an encouragement to dig deep and find our ingenuity to develop new businesses to replace all those that failed (thinking, as an example, of the new Tesla car company versus the failing Detroit companies). From the ashes of our mistakes we could rise like the phoenix, new and glorious and strong. Cleansed in the fire of all that was dead and dragging the economy down we rise with the energy of our own internal fire. No such luck. Just like I have seen in many a Code Blue at the hospital, we keep on resuscitating past all reasonable hope of bringing the dead and dying back to life because we cannot let go. In the end, the dead are dead but it cost a lot more money than it needed to.

Mr. Tough Money Love recently wrote a post about financial discipline being the key to success and how seeing the mistakes of others, particularly "experts", can lead us to be a little too forgiving of our own mistakes. Yes, it is good to forgive yourself when you make a mistake but I agree that too much forgiveness can be a bad thing.

#1 Self: "Put down the cookie. Cookie is bad for you, make you fat."

#2 Self: *whine* "But I want cookie, it is soooo yummy."

#1 Self: "Put down the cookie."

#2 Self: "But I want cookie."

#1 Self: "No! you can't have a cookie."

#2 Self: "I think I am hungry. Yes! I am hungry! I need cookie! *CHOMP* Not my fault!"

#1 Self: "Dangit! I told you not to eat that cookie!"

#2 Self: *licking crumbs off fingers* (inside voice: mmmm.. good cookie...) "I'm sorry I ate the cookie. Please forgive me?"

#1 Self: "OK, I forgive you, but don't do it again, alright?"

#2 Self: "Yes, I promise. No more cookies."

#2 Self: "There are more cookies. They look so yummy. I think I am still hungry. I want cookie."

#1 Self: "No more cookies!"

#2 Self: "Just one more..." *munch munch* "...sorry..." *munch munch* "...sorry"

{NEXT TIME STEPPING ON THE SCALE}

Self #1 "What?! Up five pounds! It was those dang cookies!"

Self #2 "Why did you let me eat those cookies! You knew they were bad. They were so not worth it. I hate you."

Self #1: "Why wasn't I more disciplined? Then this never would have happened. I am SO angry with myself."

Self #2: "It's OK, I forgive you, let's be better from now on."

Self #1: "Yes, let's be better. But first let's have a doughnut, I need some cheering up."

Now just substitute words like subprime mortgage, new _________ (unneeded item purchased with credit), et cetera for cookie; and words like bailout, rescue, and stimulus for doughnut. You now have an illustration of how we all got into trouble with our money and (for a huge percentage of Americans) with our waistlines.

In order to change our bad habits, financial or otherwise, we really need to be a little stricter with ourselves, and not so easy with the forgiveness. A period of good effort and progress followed by a tiny slip-up immediately followed by getting back on track and demonstrating remorse and a willingness to change; forgiveness granted. A series of constant slip-ups followed by insincere apologies and no demonstration of change; no forgiveness. (Hello, Bank of America...AIG...Citicorp...)

Suck it up and drive on

Straight from my stream of consciousness:

The Central Valley region of California was converted to agriculture decades ago with the aid of irrigation. This water supply is allocated by the government and is necessary to grow crops in land that would otherwise not receive enough water to grow anything. Farmers established farms and orchards in this area based on the assurance that water would always be supplied to them, and supplied for less than the cost of providing it. Now California is a few years into a drought with water supplies at their lowest in a long time and the government decided to turn off the supply. Hundreds of thousands of acres of farmland will lie fallow this year due to lack of water. These farms will not being hiring workers, documented or otherwise, resulting in loss of jobs not only for them but also in the towns where these workers once shopped, lived, and used services. Some small towns may cease to exist.

The government did not make this decision out of malice or caprice. Agriculture is a big part of California's economy and the jobs and tax revenue it generates is important to the state. There just isn't enough water to sustain this artificial agriculture. Perhaps the wisdom of turning all that arid land into farmland seems questionable now; nothing was done to make the area self-supporting. Protecting the environment wasn't something people gave much thought to then, nor did anybody predict how huge the population would become. Now the music has stopped and the farmers of Central California are left without a chair. The shortsighted planners who created this fiasco are dead and gone, while we are left to pay the price for their lack of foresight and poor plan to create an unsustainable way of life.

What does this mean for me? It means I should not be surprised if the price of produce continues to go up. I will also probably appreciate my home grown produce more this year. It also makes me feel a lot better about my situation. I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself lately. I have been feeling bad because things could be better and aren't, when really things could be much worse and aren't.

I have been angry lately at the forces which seem to have conspired against me in the housing market. I bought into the American Dream of home ownership. I wanted to buy a home in the city where I grew up and where all my family still lives, even though it is now one of the most expensive housing markets in the nation. I knew when I bought that prices were likely to go down and I was ready to weather a bit of a drop. The prediction was that prices would drop but recover in a few years; not too bad, right? Boy was I a deluded fool!

My lack of understanding led me to be surprised by the way the housing fiasco has reverberated throughout the entire economy of not just this country, but much of the world as well. In hindsight it makes complete sense, but then hindsight generally does, doesn't it? The value of my home has dropped by 25% and the decrease has only been accelerating the last few months. Where will it hit bottom?

Now there are plans for a "rescue" but based on what I have heard so far I do not qualify. My mortgage is too far underwater and too big to qualify for the programs that have been announced so far. I won't even receive the "Making Work Pay" tax break because my income is too high, an income that in this area only makes me part of the low to mid middle class. This has all been a bitter, bitter pill to swallow. Like the California farmers, the music stopped and I have no chair.

After feeling really bad for about a week, I am finally starting to come to my senses. Yes, it really sucks that I am in this situation. No amount of anger or recrimination can change it. Ultimately I am responsible for my own decisions and I have to find a way to live with them. My payments are ridiculous huge but at least I can make them. At least I have a solid job. In some ways all this rescue stuff from the government is only making things worse because now people identify themselves as needing rescue. A person who needs rescue is a victim and the word that goes with victim is helpless. I do not want to be a victim, I do not want to be passive and sit here waiting for help. My situation is not bad enough for that. If one of these rescue plans enable me to get a lower interest rate, that would be awesome and I will gladly take the savings and apply it to my loan principal. If not then I will keep doing what I am doing, plugging away at paying down the principal on my mortgage. Someday the value of my home will stop dropping and start going up again. Then someday, as my value goes up and my balance goes down, the two numbers will meet in the middle briefly before heading in opposite directions.

A saying I learned from my time in the military is very useful to me now. It embodies a philosophy of dealing with adversity. I am going to try hard to live by it: "Suck it up and drive on". Because no matter what obstacles to success I encounter, if I don't keep going I will never reach my goal. I have to pick myself up and keep going, driving on.

Report on my food goal

Last Sunday I posted about how I was going to stay away from my favorite restaurant for two weeks as well as fast food. My earlier efforts to stay away from them went well: I stayed away from fast food for three weeks and my fave restaurant for one. I felt ready to take it a little further. How'd I do?

Not very well! Last week was a bad week for me. Bad weather, bad economy, BF out of the country, and some other junk all had me feeling really down. For me, depression = junky eating. Also I didn't go the grocery store so I was out of oatmeal, sandwich stuff, and almost everything I use to make food at home. I basically set myself up to fail.

So now I forgive myself and move on. I went to the store and have stuff to make my lunch all week. We'll see how I do. I ended up with $60 left over from my spending money last pay period because I ate out less. I'd really like to have money left over again.